kcjenkins Posted February 14, 2011 Report Posted February 14, 2011 Q: What's the definition of an accountant? A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. Q: What's an actuary? A: An accountant without the sense of humor. Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? A: They find bookkeeping too exciting. Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? A: Invite an accountant. Q: What's an auditor? A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. Q: What's the definition of a good tax accountant? A: Someone who has a tax loophole named after him. Q: What's an extroverted accountant? A: One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own. Q: Why did the auditor cross the road? A: Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year. Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane? A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way. Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? A: Depreciation. Q: What does an accountant use for birth control? A: His/her personality. Q: What's an accountant's idea of trashing his/her hotel room? A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card. Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker. Q: There are three kinds of accountants in the world. A: Those who can count and those who can't. Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he is retiring. 1 Quote
Margaret CPA in OH Posted February 14, 2011 Report Posted February 14, 2011 Sigh...so true, so true, describes me to a T-account. Quote
kcjenkins Posted February 14, 2011 Author Report Posted February 14, 2011 A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for." Quote
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