Long Term Marriages

[chief]

On another posting a number of you posted about long term marriages. Today Helen and I are celebrating our 60th anniversary. The years for us have been blessed. I think it would be interesting to report what has been the secret of such union. How have they lasted thru time?

The one secret for us has been to respect each other and not try to remake the other. We accepted each other for what we were. We still do.

What is your secret for a happy and blessed union that has survived the test of time.

[Margaret CPA in OH]

Thanks for starting over and asking a great question. For us I think the primary secret, other than love, is that we choose, again and again to stay together. We spent about 7 years before marrying making sure and were 'older' with some experience. We share many common interests yet have our own - he's an avid golfer, I am a scuba diver. He plays bridge and bikes, I run. Yet we have both played golf and bridge and biked and run together but not at the same level.

We both have master's degrees but in different areas and respect each other's sphere of knowledge. Yes, I think mutual respect, even in disagreement, is so important.

[Joel]

I read this several years ago.

A couple was being interviewed by a reporter about their long successful marriage.

The husband replied that from the beginning they both agreed to share in the decision making.

He would make all of the major decisions and his wife would make all of the minor ones.

The reporter asked the husband to give some of the minor decisions that his wife make.

He replied, well she would decide when and what kind of car to purchase. When and how many

children they would have and she picked out the house that they lived in.

Well, the reporter was surprised with his answer,thinking that the decisions the wife had made

were what he would call major not minor, so he asked him what were some of the major decisions

that he made.

The husband replied:

(scroll down)

Well I decided as to whether we should admit Red China into the UN and whether we send a man to the moon!!!!!!

[AnnieR]

This past Monday my husband and I celebrated our 52nd anniversary. Until I retired from my "normal" job about 9 years ago, Jim worked days and I worked nights, so we were actually together only on weekends. Needless to say, our first year actually "together", was kind of hard...but then, he discovered "fretwork", which he had never done before and spent most of his days in the garage doing really beautiful woodwork, so we were sort of back on the same schedule. Now he does just about all the cooking from January to April, but of course, I'm still looking for pots, pans, dishes, spices, etc. from this winter!!! Reallly makes for a great adventure!

AnnieR

[Lion EA]

So, Annie, you really have been "together" only about 21 years!

My first husband traveled overseas, maybe three weeks at a time then home for two. That's how we stayed together for almost 20 years; it was really only about eight years of living together.

[AnnieR]

So, Annie, you really have been "together" only about 21 years!

My first husband traveled overseas, maybe three weeks at a time then home for two. That's how we stayed together for almost 20 years; it was really only about eight years of living together.

You're right, it was quite an adjustment when I retired!

[OldJack]

We remember that besides love, on or wedding day we made a promise to each other. :)

[Julie]

I resisted getting married....we lived together for eight years first. When we finally signed the papers, it was almost with a sense of resignation. 22 years later, I realize that I never really wanted anything other than what we have.

[mcb39]

We just finished spending two days celebrating a 50th with two of our best friends and their family. Last night was the formal party; this morinig at church came the renewal of vows and after that the informal party continued at their home. It was beautiful. My husband met this fellow when they served on the same ship in the Navy. That was in 1954. When my husband came home, his good friend came with him even though he was from a different state; he stayed and met his future wife here. They were married in May, we were married in June of the same year, 1960.

As I said, it was, and is, beautiful.

[StevenL]

I just read of the passing of Art Linkletter yesterday. He is survived by his wife. They were married in 1935! 75 years of marriage. Now that's love and commitment!

[Margaret CPA in OH]

My oldest clients are 97 and 96 and will celebrate their 74th anniversary Sept. 11. We all hope he makes it as he is now in hospice care. He doesn't seem to know it, though, as he continues to go to church and symphony and enjoys lots of ice cream. They are so devoted to each other...

[jainen]

>>What is your secret for a happy and blessed<<

I've chalked up 35 years. Anybody who knows Eileen understands that I got no secret. Anybody who knows me--well, she must have a really big secret 'cause nobody else ever figured it out!