Daune/CA Posted February 7, 2009 Report Posted February 7, 2009 Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (At this point practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Thought you might get a laugh out of this. Daune/CA Quote
kcjenkins Posted February 7, 2009 Report Posted February 7, 2009 That one is simply wonderful, Daune. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. Quote
PapaJoe Posted February 7, 2009 Report Posted February 7, 2009 I fell out of my chair laughing. Now I'm ROTFLMAO. Quote
TAXBILLY Posted February 7, 2009 Report Posted February 7, 2009 You certainly know how to brighten the day! taxbilly Quote
rfassett Posted February 7, 2009 Report Posted February 7, 2009 I am sitting here alone (working on tax returns) and laughing out loud so hard I am afraid someone might walk in and call the funny farm to finally have me checked in. And it will be all your fault, Duane. Seriously, thanks for a great laugh! Quote
bstaxes Posted February 8, 2009 Report Posted February 8, 2009 If it is good for my dog why not me? Thanks for the laugh. Quote
Slippery Pencil Posted February 8, 2009 Report Posted February 8, 2009 This guy lived on Monkey Chow for a week. Quite hilarious. http://www.angryman.ca/blog/2006_06_01_archive.html http://www.angryman.ca/monkey.html Quote
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