TAXBILLY Posted December 7, 2008 Report Posted December 7, 2008 Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay, I'll set you up with a Barbie. Santa --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I unwind by drinking myself silly while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging crap may work with your folks, but it doesn't cut it with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, first, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa Quote
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