IRS FAQs that didn't make it

[Lee B]

Thanks go to Don de Drain a guest blogger on the Procedurally Taxing website:   

 

"FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

1)

Q: Who came up with the idea of issuing Frequently Asked Questions?

A. On advice of counsel, the person who came up with the idea of issuing Frequently Asked Questions is refusing to answer this question on the grounds that it may violate their 5th Amendment right against self-incrimination.

2)

Q: Has the issuance of Frequently Asked Questions actually proven to be helpful?

A: The issuance of Frequently Asked Questions has proven to be very helpful to attorneys who like to challenge in court the validity of IRS rules that have not been published in the Federal Register under the Administrative Procedure Act.

3)

Q: How often are Frequently Asked Questions actually asked?

A: Frequently.

4)

Q: Seriously, how often is “Frequently?”

A: Once. After the question is asked here, no one else ever asks the question again.

5)

Q: Who are the people who actually decide which Frequently Asked Questions to include on the IRS’s website?

A: See the answer to Question #1.

6)

Q: Why does the IRS issue guidance like this in the form of questions?

A: Why not?

7)

Q: Can we rely on the answers to Frequently Asked Questions?

A: Yes, except that you cannot rely on the answer to this question.

Q: Will I be penalized if I take a position on my tax return that is contrary to the answer to a Frequently Asked Question?

A: Only if the answer to the Frequently Asked Question is unintelligible.

9)

Q: Are these Frequently Asked Questions binding on the IRS in Court?

A: Only if the Questions have been written by someone living in Thailand.

10)

Q: Why is that?

A: Because it’s the Thai that binds.

11)

Q: What do we do when there are conflicting answers provided by two different Frequently Asked Questions?

A: You pick the answer you want to pick. Then the IRS will pick the other answer if your tax return is audited, and the Tax Court will decide which answer it likes better.

12)

Q: What is the actual location of the United States Tax Court?

A: We are not sure. We looked in the pocket of IRS Chief Counsel and did not find the Court there. We also looked in the pockets of some random taxpayers and did not the Court there. The Tax Court appears to be an independent body located somewhere in the penumbras between Article I and Article III of the U.S. Constitution. As a result, the Tax Court is considering renaming itself the United States Tax Court of Quantum Physics."

[Gail in Virginia]

I love this!  Thanks for sharing it!

[Lion EA]

As Sheldon would say, "It's funny, because it's true!"