how to divvy up - any experience? Not Tax!!

[WITAXLADY]

same Trust - personal possessions -

Mom has a list - with what siblings and grands are to get

Trust says only siblings get

Atty says must adhere to Trust documents

We did a list and appraisal - told the siblings to mark what they wanted  - if no one else wanted the item - it was theirs..

I said the contested items - do choice - round robin.. put it back into the mix of what is available to pick from as there are some very nice pieces that should be spread to all family members and take turns picking

Mediator says auction off amongst the family - 2 siblings are wealthy and will always outbid others!

Siblings should pick for their children? as mine do not care - do not want to be in a war! or greed contest - just want something from their grandparents.

One brother wants tone to furnish his rentals - he can have after others pick before auction but not ahead of others taking turns?

Appraiser says this could be a 2-3 day auction and want it down to 1 day but also want it done fairly first..

Any fair ways?

Did draw straws for the item for hubby's family and one sibling always won so I thought putting it back into the round robin made sense..

???

Help?

WI overloaded and still doing Feb, Mar taxes!

[Lee B]

I am getting a headache just reading your post.

I hope everyone is still talking to each other after this is wrapped up.

[WITAXLADY]

well some of us are not talking now..

The 5 brothers sued me for coercion - where were they when mom needed help, rides,

so of course it looked like I did it - but the funny thing is she  was deemed competent to sign herself into Assisted Living..

Attorney deposed and showed - it was all my mom that did the trust - so now they are still tying this up but no legal claims.. just questions, attorneys, and a mediator..

but she did die from the ER's 2 mistakes and they admitted that - but at 90 years old, my Dr said is it worth going after them?

But I still have 1 bro who says I killed his mom - what about the other 2 who lived within a mile? Where were they in this?

So sad - over what?

Make sure you give it all away before you die!

D

[Lion EA]

I'm so sorry. Take a deep breath. We love you. Some of us (not me) know a bit about trusts and can help you, even if it's just the best questions to ask the lawyer or whatever support. So painful when family doesn't support each other. (I have a trust client where the trustee is picked on by her siblings for every decision but none provide help. She's forced to get legal help to sell the one commercial (but vacant) property to "divorce" herself from her siblings fighting her.)

Hang in there. You can always vent here.

[Margaret CPA in OH]

This does sound so painful and sad.  I have personally not had any issues in my family with the elders passing as there was nothing to fight over.  However, I was trustee and executor for wealthy clients.  The trust attorney was very astute in setting up the complicated structure, making the grands wait for 5 years before principal distribution.  That cooled some heels among them but there was antagonism towards me as trustee. 

When questions or complaints arose, I simply pointed to the trust a copy of which they had before death.  There was also a private letter for some property distributions with one item creating an issue - so I donated it.

As Lion said, breathe, hang in there, do what is right, vent here, and know you have done your best to care for your mother and abide by her wishes.

[mcb39]

Dar.........it might just be Wisconsin.  Two of my brothers have not spoken to me in over 15 years, since my Mom's funeral.  It's funny when you ask "Where were they when I was toting them to appointments, etc."  Same case here except that I had two for five years and one for one more year.  They passed at 92 and 90.  I SO feel for you, but nothing valuable left after they moved them up here from Racine.   What was left was the proceeds from the sale of their house; residue was split four ways.  However, guess who bought their house.  The son of one of my brothers for assessed value; fixed it up a little and sold it.  I don't care.  I truly don't!  It wasn't easy because I was working two jobs at the time.  However, I can sleep at night.  There is no easy answer for your question.  Get it over and walk away.  You will live longer and happier.  Love you!!!!

[WITAXLADY]

Thank you - I am trying to be calm about this .. now..

but need to get thru the BS yet!

Happy rest of the summer!

D

[Randall]

Sorry to hear this.  All went well with me.  I kept details of Mom's money and things and had records.  But my 3 siblings never asked or questioned anything.