GETTIN' OLD

[BLACK BART]

Just when I think I'm over the hill:  Guy drives up today, gets out, crips in the office (a bit unsteady - says "I've been sick.") He's 103 - yeah, one hundred and three).  No cane, no walker, no wheelchair.  All health is mostly intact, but requests I write for pickup instead of calling (his hearing is shot).  He's a widower, buys mutual funds (his son/sole heir is a churn 'em and burn 'em broker but doesn't lose too much) and there's enough money to last another century, so everybody's happy (including me - decent fee guaranteed & no complaint).

Maybe God's in his heaven and all's right (well, mostly) with the world after all. 

[ILLMAS]

I was waiting for the punchline, but here is something to cheer you up:

Losing His Memory 

The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether anything was troubling him. 
       
      "Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes," answered the patient. 
       
      "You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. No, it's actually worse than that. I'm never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where I'm going, or what it is I'm going to do once I get there -- if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?" 
       
      The doctor mused for a moment, then answered in his kindest tones, "Pay me in advance."

[Lion EA]

My grandmother lived to be 103. The funeral director said he ran out of magnetic flags for the cars, because he never had so many great-grandchildren old enough to drive!

[Elrod]

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.

"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."

"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."

                                                                               

                                                                ...Why I had to quit doing tax returns...