Don't know whether to laugh or cry

[JJStephens]

Just got an email from a long-time client. It begins: "Well it only took me 6 hours to check the returns this year."

Her hubby is now retired (gets only SS) and she now has only one W2 and a very small Sch C.

Six hours is a record for her. She usually double that poring over every detail. I have no clue why she doesn't just do them herself. She generally finds an obscure issue that is nothing more than a $1 rounding error (e.g., I entered each W2 individually, she added them all together). She wants it changed. We argue about it and finally she understands that it is inconsequential and makes no difference to her bottom line.

This time she says that her Ohio medical worksheet expenses are off by $79. I went back through every document she provided to me. My number is exactly right based on what she provided. And then, after all that, she says, "Never mind. Even if I'm right it won't change my refund." Arrrghhh!

I've only fired one client (a nurse who insisted I deduct $882 worth of underwear because she said she had to wear a brand new pair for every shift). Actually, come to think of it, I didn't fire her. I was going to but she passed away before I had the chance to. This one is getting pretty close to that threshold for me.

Sorry 'bout all this. Just needed to vent.

[Richcpaman]

Yes...

I fired one for arguing over an $8 carryover in AMT adjustment.   Because it didn't match "his" TurboTax result.

Because TT is perfect, you know?

Sheesh...

 

[Catherine]

I was about to fire a couple (longtime friends, too) who argued over $4 depreciation difference between what QB said and what I had (on $20K depreciation for lots of machinery for their business).  Fortunately, they hired a new bookkeeper (old one left) who raved about a CPA she did some work for, whose office was next door to the kids' day care...

Rita would probably tell us it's OK to kill those clients! 

[ILLMAS]

I'm in the same shoes as you, dependent student got married last year and will be filing with husband this year, both were dependent and students on parents return in 2016, they are concerned that they should be getting a bigger refund because they are students and that husband received a 2K credit in 2016.  I told her if she was not to busy, to review the husband prior year tax return and when she finds the 2K credit to show it to me, if i read the IRS rules correctly, the parents should claim the credit not the dependent, in this case student son did and received a 1k credit.  If I get frustrated, client gets fired, that's that.

[rfassett]

53 minutes ago, JJStephens said:

I was going to but she passed away before I had the chance to. This one is getting pretty close to that threshold for me.

JJStephens - I have got to say that you are scaring me just a little bit.  Are you OK man?  I know we all joke about offing a client now and again, but you know we are just joking, right?

 

[rfassett]

I have a new client this year that will not be back.  The conversation went something like this this morning.  Guy has a very small Schedule C.

Me:  You owe $96.

Him: Why do I owe?  I had enough medical expense to offset my self employment income of $10,400 gross.

Me:  It does not work like that.  But how much medical expense did you have.

Him:  $6,000

Me:  That is below the standard deduction (even with your other itemized deductions) so there is no benefit to that.

Him: (In total seriousness)  But I had $8,000 medical expenses

Me:  Still no good.

Him:  (continuing to be totally serious) But I had $10,000 medical expenses

Me:  Come and pick up your return and pay me for my work.

Him:  I am not upset or anything.  I just want it to be right.

Me:  Good bye!

 

In another call this morning - client says she underpaid her state withholding liability by 2 cents.

Go ahead - ask me how much I care on April 9th.

 

[Abby Normal]

2 minutes ago, rfassett said:

liability by 2 cents

Awhile ago I made a rule in my office that no one could ask me a question about any matter that was less than $100... because NOBODY GIVES A A FLYING.... UM..... TRUCK! YEAH, THAT'S IT, TRUCK.

[Roberts]

Had a new client a few years ago with two Schedule C's. In one he sold a few health insurance policies and the other he received real estate referral fees. He wanted me to split the cost of everything he purchased by their usage between the two "businesses". Printer cartridge it should be 31% and 69%. Envelopes should be $26% and 74%.... and so forth. I tried to explain the IRS didn't care.

 

He was a one year client.

[RitaB]

1 hour ago, JJStephens said:

 Actually, come to think of it, I didn't fire her. I was going to but she passed away before I had the chance to. This one is getting pretty close to that threshold for me.

I knew there was somebody besides me with a backhoe and back 40. 

[Abby Normal]

"passed away". Good one! I'm gonna use that.

I have a jar on my desk labeled "Ashes of Problem Clients".

[Abby Normal]

The fun corner of my desk.

[Gail in Virginia]

34 minutes ago, Abby Normal said:

"passed away". Good one! I'm gonna use that.

I have a jar on my desk labeled "Ashes of Problem Clients".

I guess that eliminates the need for the backhoe and back 40.

[RitaB]

2 minutes ago, Gail in Virginia said:

I guess that eliminates the need for the backhoe and back 40.

We are nothing if not problem solvers.

 

[JJStephens]

Well garsh. Upon re-reading my OP I realize that my threshold comment sounded like I was referring to the previous client passing away. What I meant was I was close to the firing threshold. But a few of have given me an alternative to maybe think about. 

[Catherine]

On 4/9/2018 at 10:37 AM, Abby Normal said:

The fun corner of my desk.

Original Enterprise NCC-1701!!!!!

[Roberts]

New client today and she brought along with her last years bill.

The bill included $50 "COMPUTER FEE". My mind is officially blown.

[rfassett]

4 minutes ago, Roberts said:

New client today and she brought along with her last years bill.

The bill included $50 "COMPUTER FEE". My mind is officially blown.

I have been seeing that around here for years.  I, too, was blown away the first time I saw it.  Talked to a practitioner that does that and he tried to justify the approach.  I wasn't buying it.  That would be akin to going to the car repair shop and getting a bill that includes a charge for the use of the mechanic's tools.  Maybe we should also put a line item on our invoice for a charge for the use of our brains.  Some days that would be deeply discounted, though.

[Roberts]

58 minutes ago, rfassett said:

I have been seeing that around here for years.  I, too, was blown away the first time I saw it.  Talked to a practitioner that does that and he tried to justify the approach.  I wasn't buying it.  That would be akin to going to the car repair shop and getting a bill that includes a charge for the use of the mechanic's tools.  Maybe we should also put a line item on our invoice for a charge for the use of our brains.  Some days that would be deeply discounted, though.

I'm going to start including an electricity,telephone, rent and maybe even a health insurance and lunch surcharge.

I hadn't seen someone include a computer fee since the 90's on anything.

[Richcpaman]

Every tax invoice I send out has "Electronic Filing of Federal and/or State returns and other administrative fees" on it.  I do not have an amount listed, but it is $40 a return.  The other line says "Prep tax return"

The car dealer charges you for "shop sullies" usually a percentage of the rest of the invoice.  It is free money.

The client normally only wants to know what their bottom line is on the fee... $350, $400, etc.  How you break it out internally is your Biz.

That $40 fee collects about $18k a year for me.

Rich

[Gail in Virginia]

2 hours ago, rfassett said:

I have been seeing that around here for years.  I, too, was blown away the first time I saw it.  Talked to a practitioner that does that and he tried to justify the approach.  I wasn't buying it.  That would be akin to going to the car repair shop and getting a bill that includes a charge for the use of the mechanic's tools.  Maybe we should also put a line item on our invoice for a charge for the use of our brains.  Some days that would be deeply discounted, though.

Years ago, I started seeing a charge on the mechanic's bill for shop rags.  And what about the car dealer's charge for document processing?  If enough people pay it, and enough people charge it, it soon becomes standard business practice.

[Abby Normal]

My invoices just have one line '20xx federal and state tax returns' but my job sheet has a line for assembly and efiling and clerical, etc. The amount for each of those varies by the client.

 

[rfassett]

1 minute ago, Abby Normal said:

My invoices just have one line '20xx federal and state tax returns' but my job sheet has a line for assembly and efiling and clerical, etc. The amount for each of those varies by the client.

 

We use the same system except that my invoice says simply "Tax return preparation fee".  I cannot remember any client wanting me to expound upon that.