Rita-hug clients

[Catherine]

I think we need a topic just for clients who need a Rita-hug.  Here's my offering for today.

Client is late & I had just about figured he had forgotten.  Get an email "on my way; be there in 10 minutes!"  Shows up - big box of tax stuff he grabbed on the way out is NOT the big box of tax stuff, but just random family papers.  Spends almost FORTY-FIVE minutes here, going through the same wrong pile over and again while apologizing for grabbing the wrong box.  I just got rid of the guy.

It's OK to kill this client.  Yes?  (Or at least, hike his bill WAY up!)

[Jack from Ohio]

Drastically increase your income stream from him, file an extension and ignore him till AFTER your summer vacation.

I grow weary of having tax experience and knowledge and being reduced to a baby sitter for incompetent adults.  

It is a reason I love being in this group because I am one of the least experienced people here and am among people who do NOT NEED tended to like little children.

[jklcpa]

4 hours ago, Jack from Ohio said:

I am one of the least experienced people here

What????  Don't sell yourself or your talents short, Jack.  We all bring something of value to the party, and that and each of our willingness to help fellow members is a big part of what I love about the group.

[RitaB]

I want to hug people who don't do email, don't text, no land line, and cell phone voice mail box has not been set up.  Yeah, I want to reach out and touch somebody.  Can you hear me now?

[NECPA in NEBRASKA]

3 hours ago, RitaB said:

I want to hug people who don't do email, don't text, no land line, and cell phone voice mail box has not been set up.  Yeah, I want to reach out and touch somebody.  Can you hear me now?

Please add millennials whose voice mail box is too full for a message and don't respond to texts. I'm sorry, I don't understand the point of Snapchat and I know that they are smart enough to see a missed call. 

[FDNY]

All I ask for is one simple request, "Don't leave me hanging."  Got one now who is a clinical therapist for wayward boys, keeps disappearing on me.  So disorganized it looks like the sporadic notes she mails me were written on a salami.  She's retiring this year so she can become, get this, a Life Coach!  Tony Robbins has nothing to worry about.

[RitaB]

4 hours ago, FDNY said:

All I ask for is one simple request, "Don't leave me hanging."  Got one now who is a clinical therapist for wayward boys, keeps disappearing on me.  So disorganized it looks like the sporadic notes she mails me were written on a salami.  She's retiring this year so she can become, get this, a Life Coach!  Tony Robbins has nothing to worry about.

This made me think of the couple doing fertility treatments and he has court ordered child support payments to both first and second wives.  You can't make this stuff up. 

 Well, it also made me laugh at what a great picture you painted.  I've never seen notes written on salami but I knew exactly what you meant.

[Richcpaman]

Mine?

Wants to sell her business... Killing me to update her Qbooks Online accounting so she can send it to all the "prospective" buyers.

So, I do all the updating...  Did I tell you that anyone who uses the Qbooks Online Edition deserves a hug?  Yes. Everyone.

Send her an Email, ok, everything looks good, I can prep the corporate return now, and you can send that Qbooks info anywhere you want, but....  Why did you stop paying your sales tax in October?

Her reply?  "Oh, that?  I started making all the "cash" deposits into a new and different account that I do not include in the QBO file...." 

Yes, she is 5'4" and wide. 

Rich

[ILLMAS]

38 minutes ago, Richcpaman said:

Yes, she is 5'4" and wide. 

Rich

This reminds me of people of Walmart, if you need a good laugh google People of Walmart 

[Catherine]

22 minutes ago, ILLMAS said:

if you need a good laugh google People of Walmart 

Not during or right after lunch; some of them will make you toss your cookies *while* you are laughing.

[RitaB]

1 hour ago, Richcpaman said:

Yes, she is 5'4" and wide. 

Yeah, I have sections in the yard by width and length, too.  It's efficient use of plot space.

[FDNY]

5 hours ago, RitaB said:

 

 Well, it also made me laugh at what a great picture you painted.  I've never seen notes written on salami but I knew exactly what you meant.

I thought I would go for maximum effect, even scribbling is more readable than writing on a salami.  Sometimes there are doodles on her papers, wonder what she's thinking about?

[Catherine]

13 minutes ago, FDNY said:

wonder what she's thinking about?

You probably don't actually want to know.  Dangerous waters, those.

[RitaB]

I just want one more person to say, "I didn't get that much out of it."  One.  More.

[Jack from Ohio]

We all have the people calling us for free advice so they can do their returns themselves.  I have developed a method....

Client "Can I ask you a question?"
Me "Yes, I answer questions. The first one is free."
Client "How much are the other questions?"
Me "$100 each." "What is your second question?"

Any of them with more than 3 brain cells get the point...

[WITAXLADY]

well  - first really good laughs in days!! I think I will re read this every day!!

[Terry D EA]

On ‎3‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 10:25 AM, RitaB said:

Yeah, I have sections in the yard by width and length, too.  It's efficient use of plot space.

You just gotta love Rita!! That back yard must be huge??? Maybe by April 10th you'll need to make the plots deeper to start stacking them. I just read this thread at the end of a very busy day and it finished my day off well. Thanks for the laugh's

[Lion EA]

I think Rita has a good side business going now, taking care of all our PITAs.  Do we pay by length X width or cubic feet?  Can you still get crop flexibility payments from the gov for not growing crops this year.  Does it help the soil?  Can I deduct shipping?  I need an order form pronto.

[RitaB]

Yes, you can deduct shipping.  Cubic, but that varies depending on final arrangements.

Cardboard or pine?  I also have a feed sack special now through April 18. 

Yes, my soil is so rich it should file a tax return.