TAX HUMOR

[Lee B]

TAX HUMOR     Tax Quotes I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. - Arthur Godfrey The trouble with the profession of tax collecting is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name. - anonymous Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids. - Harvey Mackay What's the difference between a tax auditor and a rottweiler? A rottweiler eventually lets go. - anonymous What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. -- Mark Twain People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women. - anonymous If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.- Farmer's Almanac For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong. - anonymous The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers, with the smallest possible amount of hissing. - Jean-Baptiste Colbert Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? - Peg Bracken The Taxpayer's prayer: Oh Mighty Internal Revenue Service, who turneth the labor of man to ashes, we thank thee for the multitude of thy forms which thou hast set before us and for the infinite confusion of thy commandments, which mulitplyth the fortunes of lawyer and accountant alike. - Russell Baker I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat. - Michael McShane  Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. - Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) How can you tell when a tax auditor is trying to trap you into a confession? Answer: When his lips are moving. - anonymous The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. -Albert Einstein The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul. -George Bernard Shaw       Copied from the OSEA Newsletter

[Elrod]

..............FuNnY.......