TAX HUMOR

[Lee B]

TAX HUMOR They're only two people who ever have understood the Internal Revenue Code in its entirety.   One is dead, and the other still is in therapy.     As an EA I have learned and continue to learn that I do not know what I do not know and that buying technology to help me get there faster is akin to using speed dial to dial wrong numbers faster.       Tax law is a funny thing. I think it fair to say that most CPAs know something about the federal income tax; many if not most lawyers do not.       . . . I'm continually amazed at the attitude people have toward their tax refund. There seems to be in most people's minds -- and I'm talking about intelligent, educated people who understand the tax system -- a disconnect between the refund they get and the amount of taxes they pay. It's like a lottery. People want that check!     In connection with the payment of taxes due, no person shall fear that he will suffer, at the hand of perverse and enraged judges, imprisonment, lashes of leaded whips, weights, or any other tortures devised by the arrogance of judges. Prisons are for criminals. . . . In accordance with this law, taxpayers shall proceed with security. -Emperor Constantine   It is the small owner who offers the only really profitable and reliable material for taxation. . . . He is made for taxation. . . . He swarms; he is far more tied to his place and his calling than the big owner; he has less skill, and ingenuity as regards escape; and he still has a large supply of "ignorant patience of taxation."     Feeling stressed out before your audit? Relax and enjoy this new stress relief method... Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world." The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear. You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water. Look. It's the IRS agent who caused you all this stress in the first place. What a pleasant surprise. You let them up...just for a quick breath...then ploop!...back under they go... You allow yourself as many deep breaths as you want.                         ..         Gleim Accounting

[WITAXLADY]

aaahhh - that was a real stress reliever... thank you