Laugh of the Day

[kcjenkins]

[taxxcpa]

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he

applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department. After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview.

 

 

The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."

 

 

Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go 

out and shoot: six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Democrats, and a rabbit."

 

 

"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.

 

 

"You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"

[kcjenkins]

http://www.savvysugar.com/Homemade-Toilet-Bomb-Fizzies-31734698

[Jack from Ohio]

Ten things I have learned in my 19 years of marriage:

1. Chinese Take-out containers are NOT to be thrown away!

2. The toilet seat is meant to be left in the down position.

3. Its easier just to give her the remote.

4. Whatever she cooks is delicious.

5. Her outfit always looks great.

6. There really is a difference between purple and violet.

7. Its easier not to complain.

8. Its not clean until its bleach cleaned!

9. Its worth the investment.

10. I can trust her!

[Lion EA]

And, the answer to everything is -- pick one:

 

Yes, dear!

Whatever you think, dear!

That's right, dear!

That's a wonderful idea, dear!

 

each said with enthusiasm.

[kcjenkins]

Adorable  I dare you to try not to smile at this one!

 

[kcjenkins]

[Catherine]

One of my brothers-in-law lives in Phoenix; there, when they get 1" of rain, it means the spacing between the drops that fell!

[kcjenkins]

This pair is so happy together you just know they are going to be best buddies 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD-C0HPD0Vc

[kcjenkins]

[kcjenkins]

[kcjenkins]

With apologies to all the men here...............

 

Making The Marriage Choice

 

A wealthy man decided it was time for him to get married, but he was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. So he gave each woman $5,000 and watched to see what they do with the money.

 

The first does a total makeover -- she went to a fancy beauty salon to get her hair done, buys new makeup and several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

 

The man was impressed.

 

The second went shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

 

Again, the man is impressed.

 

The third woman invested the money in the stock market and very quickly earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

 

Obviously, the man was quite impressed.

 

But how did he choose which one to marry?

 

If you don't know the answer, you're not thinking. 

 

He's a man: he married the one with the biggest boobs.

[kcjenkins]

http://cnsnews.com/video/cnsnews/playing-trombone-till-cows-come-home

[Jack from Ohio]

This is a YouTube video you must watch!!

 

The joys of the sport of Wing Suit Flying.