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Delight of the Day

Catherine

By Catherine
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kcjenkins

kcjenkins

Posted
Posted
More Jokes for Geeks

  • Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: "Oh hell, I forgot to feed the dog!"
  • What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?
    Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
  • A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: "Hello, I'd like a beer."
    The barman replies: "Hello, you'd like a beer?"
    "Yes," replies the TCP packet, "I'd like a beer."
  • When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.
  • The barman says: "We don't serve faster-than-light particles here."
    A tachyon enters a bar.
  • How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
    None, it's a hardware problem.
  • A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, "Five beers, please."
  • An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says, "Sir, do you realize you were traveling at 130km per hour?"
    The electron replies, "Oh great, now I'm lost."
  • An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: "What'll it be, boys?"
    The first mathematician: "I'll have one half of a beer."
    The second mathematician: "I'll have one quarter of a beer."
    The third: "I'll have one eight of a beer."
    The fourth: "I'll have one sixteenth---"
    The bartender interrupts: "Know your limits, boys" as he pours out a single beer.
  • What does the "B" in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for?
    Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot.
  • Like 2
mcb39

mcb39

Posted
Posted

Subject: "Do you love your husband?"


this one struck me funny.....



A group of women were at a seminar on how to
live in a loving relationship with their husbands.

The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

Of course, all the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you
actually told your husband you loved him?"

Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some
couldn't remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and
text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."

The women were then told to exchange phones with another
person, (the women sitting next to them) and to read aloud to
the group the text message they received in response.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Who the hell is this?

2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?

3. Yeh, and I love you too. What's up with you??

4. What now? Did you crash the car, again?

5. I don't understand what you mean?

6. What the hell did you do now?

7. ?!?

8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?

9. Am I dreaming?

10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.

11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.

12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she??

  • Like 3

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