LOL of today

[ILLMAS]

Me: Did you sent out the payments with the vouchers I emailed to you?

TP: Can I call you back, I am busy playing golf.

[Terry O]

OY!

[kcjenkins]

[kcjenkins]

An oldie but goodie:

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers; "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cellphone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within mere seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required", answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."

[Guest Taxed]

Couple of years back one of my regular clients still had the original payment vouchers in the same envelope I mailed him a year later at the appointment. When i asked why he did not mail the payment due? He was waiting for a bill from the IRS! I told him it will be a bit more than what the voucher shows. His response, they will be lucky if they get what I owe now so forget about the interest! I don't have any assets they can take.He was not worried about any interest and penalties!

I guess there are people who could care less about interest and penalties.

[GeneInAlabama]

When I retire from taxes, I plan to go into the chicken business. I'm going to buy me a hen and about 50 roosters to get started.

[kcjenkins]

That should do it Gene.

[Jack from Ohio]

How do I get the full size image to appear in my reply??

[jklcpa]

Don't know, but if I click on the picture, it opens up bigger.