For the good times..............

[Elrod]

Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use

Yes, this is a woman's world. When a man is born, the first question people ask is: How is the mother? When he marries, people say, what a lovely bride! And when he dies, they ask, How much did he leave her?

Sam was on his deathbed when his wife, Mary, walked into his bedroom and asked if he had any last requests. "Yes, there is, sweetheart. Before I meet my maker," Sam said in a weak voice, "I'd like a piece of that favorite coconut pie you make." "How about a cookie instead?" She asked. "I was saving the pie for the wake."

Beside a doctor, in what other profession could a guy tell a girl to get undressed and send the bill to her husband.

[Terry O]

:spaz:

[kcjenkins]

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa in the late 1800s, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America in the mid 1900s, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35 she is like India in the early 1900s, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France in the late 1900s. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia in the early 2000s, lost the war -- haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia in the late 1900s, very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia in the mid 1900s, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.

After 70, a woman is like Afghanistan is now: most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Geography of a Man

Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq in the late 1900s -- ruled by a dick.

[Margaret CPA in OH]

This must be about the funniest descriptions of women and men I have ever seen...so vivid, so true!