NT - Just for fun... How to irritate the IRS....

[Jack from Ohio]

Just found this again, and thought it might bring a laugh and help the day go better....

HOW TO ANNOY THE IRS (WITHOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE)

1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side.

2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).

3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.

4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, send a two or three party check. On top of paying with a third party check, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out a few nasty forms.

5. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what's it's on.

6. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a grocery store bag.

7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if it's just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.

8. If you send two checks, they have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form. (MARILYN DOESN'T GET THIS ONE -- PLEASE EXPLAIN)

9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.

10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be verified and then date stamped.

These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the IRS. These methods are ONLY recommended when you owe money.

[Catherine]

DEFINITELY brings a laugh on a day when I needed one -- thanks, Jack!

[BulldogTom]

<<These methods are ONLY recommended when you owe money.>>

I would add "and when you are not subject to Cir. 230." I am not sure what part of Cir 230 this violates, but I am sure the IRS does.

Tom

Lodi, CA

[jainen]

>>what part of Cir 230 this violates<<

Section 10.51(a)(12), "Contemptuous conduct in connection with practice before the Internal Revenue Service."

[Jack from Ohio]

>>what part of Cir 230 this violates<<

Section 10.51(a)(12), "Contemptuous conduct in connection with practice before the Internal Revenue Service."

con·temp·tu·ous

kuhn-temp-choo-uhs

adjective

showing or expressing contempt or disdain; scornful.

Wouldn't this describe almost any personal interaction with an auditor or an untrained phone assistance person from the IRS?

I'm just sayin.....

[Catherine]

Y'know, sometimes you can get --AALLMMOOSSTT-- as much fun from just READING about this kind of thing as you could from DOING it. With NO repercussions (unless you count the silly grin you wear for the next half-day.)

I sent that list 'round to a couple colleagues here, and they all got a real kick out of it. Thanks, Jack!

[kcjenkins]

Plus, a few of them could easily be done in a slightly smaller level without qualifying for the 203 section. Two staples would not qualify as contempt, just accidental. Big envelope is not contempt, either. Signing an extra page or two would be the client, not the Preparer, so not subject to 203 either.

[jainen]

>>Two staples<<

Okay, I'll concede it's a clever bit of irony. But really, you must not have ever worked as a mail clerk in a big organization. I have--and I can assure you it's naive to think the IRS cares how many staples you use. It's just a hassle for some poor temp trying to make it to Friday with all her fingers intact.

[Catherine]

Hence my post about getting darned near as much enjoyment out of just -thinking- about it.

Of course none of us wants to be responsible for some poor temp ripping her fingers open on staples (haven't we all done that ourselves -- won myself a client once by taking his prior-year return and hammering the staples down before I'd touch the thing).

But the thought of the faceless, nameless, heartless -bureaucrats- getting fingers snagged and having to spend time to log extra papers -- now -that- puts a smile on one's face!