ILLMAS

There was a radiator shop around the corner of where I grew up and this was their slogan: "Best place in town to take a leak" This Chicago Radiator Shop really knows their customers!

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: Yesterdays' Meals on Wheels On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." At a Proctologist's door "To expedite your visit please back in." On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff" On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes . . . Sit! . . . Stay!" At the Electric Company: "We would be "de-lighted" if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." At a Propane Filling Station, "Thank heaven for little grills." And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak." "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." Signs In a clothing store "Our best is none too good." On a sign on a delicatessen wall: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves." On a sign in a Pennsylvania cemetary "Shaky Grounds" Seen on a San Francisco Bay Area coffee shop "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels" Seen on a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon "We're #1 in the #2 business" Seen on Septic Tank Truck in Oregon "Dr. Jones, at your cervix" Sign over a Gynecologist's office. "To expedite your visit please back in" Sign over a Proctologist's door "We repair what your husband fixed" Painted sign on a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber" Sign seen on a Plumber's truck "7 days without pizza makes one weak" Pizza Shop Slogan "Invite us to your next blowout" Sign at a Tire Shop in Milwaukee. "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows" Sign seen at a Towing company "Let us remove your shorts" On an Electrician's truck "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action" Sign In a non-smoking area in a manufacturing company. "Push. Push. Push" Cute sign for a Maternity Room door huh! "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place" Sign seen on an Optometrists Office door "We really know our stuff" Seen on a Taxidermist's office window. "Time wounds all heels" Seen at a Podiatrist's office: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive" Sign seen on a residential fence in Texas "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment" Sign seen at a Car Dealership in Detroit "We just keep rolling a lawn," JB Instant Lawn, Portland, Oregon "Satisfaction guaranteed or double your trash back" Bunting Trash Service, Evans, Colorado. "We Dry Harder" a Utah concrete products company. "We're easy to get a lawn with," B&G Turf Farm, Helendale, California. "We do more than mow, blow and go" Yardvark's Lawn & Maintenance, Bullhead City, Arizona. "We meet most of our friends by accident" Auto body shop, Fremont, CA (Richard DeBiaso) "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming" Sign on the side of a Muffler Shop in Hood River, Oregon. "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" In a Veterinarian's waiting room "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be" Maybe At the Electric Company: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up" Sign seen in a restaurant's window "Drive carefully. We'll wait" Funeral Home sign, please be careful! "Thank heaven for little grills" Sign seen at propane filling station "Best place in town to take a leak" This Chicago Radiator Shop really knows their customers! "Loaded with experience," Crescent Truck Lines, Hayward, CA (Richard DeBiaso) "Nobody knows the truffles we've seen," Nevada City Truffles, Nevada City, California. "Your pane is our pleasure," Hogan's Window Cleaning, Lake Havasu City, Arizona. "Hired Killer" a California pest exterminator service. (submitted by S. Boyers) "I glove you" Western Oregon Glove Company "Take a spin with us" West Side Laundromat, Helena, Mont. "Let us steer you in the right direction" Santa Fe Meat Company "Our business is growing," Smith Gardens, Washington state "We curl up and dye for you," Orchid Hair Salon, Delta, Colorado. "Don't let a drip spoil your trip," Ray's Radiator Service, Grass Valley, California. "We run a shady business," The Tarp Man, a mobile business seen in Arizona. "Our business is picking up," Grass Valley Disposal Company, Grass Valley, California. "We kick ash," Mad Hatter Air Duct Cleaning, Seattle, Wash. "We meet by accident," Prestige Automotive Center, Kingman, Arizona. "Let us lighten your load," Hey Diddle Diddle Diaper Service, Hollister, California. "Can't get it up?" Willits Winching, Willits, California. (submitted by Joanne Moore) "While you sleep, we loaf," Tahoe House Restaurant and Bakery, Lake Tahoe, California. "Let us strip for you," a furniture refinishing shop near Little Rock, Ark. (submitted by Barry Burton) "A good flush beats a full house," Salcido Plumbing, King City Calif. (submitted by the Johnsons) "A great place to take a leak," Acme Radiator, Bandon, Oregon "Business Sucks," a California vacuum cleaner store. (submitted by S. Boyers) "All the stuff that's neat for both your feet," Dave's Shoes, Grass Valley, Calif. "The Answer To Your Hangups," Art Laminators, Inc., Seattle, Wash. "Have your work done here...and you'll never go anywhere else again," TVS Complete Auto Repair, Temecula, Calif. (submitted by Steve Augustine). "We Take a Bite out of Grime," car wash, Camp Verde, Arizona. (submitted by B.P. Soutrane) Copyright 2000 by Out West Newspaper "It's a Ruff Life," Dog day care and activity center, Phoenix, AZ (Joanne Gardiner) "We're number one in the number two business" Slim's Sanitation, Greeley, Colorado. "After the first whiff, call Cliff." Septic service, Sunshine, Wash. "We don't want an arm and a leg...just your tows!" A towing company, Weaverville, California. (submitted by Todd Steele) "Get your buns in here," Glenn's Pastries, Gallup, New Mexico "It's great to be kneaded," Rainbow Touch Massage, Seattle, Washington "Here today, lawn tomorrow," Oregon Turf and Tree Farm "Spouses Selling Houses," Real estate agents Shari and Ron Laverty, Seattle, Wash. "Let us remove your shorts" Art's Electric, Pullman, Wash.

TP has a son that is still in HS and he is 19, is "student" reserved people that are in college only for EIC?

This what happened to a man after dealing with all his tax clients:

I just took on a new client that had setup all its business filings before coming to me, after speaking to them the 3 partners want to have a weekly payroll. I informed them that they can take a guaranteed payment and not payroll because they are a partnership and need to file form 1065. Now my question, is there a way to change the entity with the IRS from 1065 to a 1120S, or would it be easier just to re-apply for a new FEIN. I called the state and they need to file articles of incorporation and close the partnership with the state. Thanks

I am done for today, taking it easy for next couple of days, but then I have to do payroll quarterly filings... Hope everyone had a wonderful and lucractive tax season. Take care, MAS

High Five, good one. Today I emailed a client letting know I was willing to give them a big discount if they paid my fees in full, if not I would need half and only release one partner k-1. In the past I have worked my @ss off and not to get paid months later.

Ahh thats not nice, you probably know this already, but not all ilegal are here for a free ride, many of them are hard working, willing to take upon a job no else is willing to take on. I don't hear anyone complaining about people who were born in the US, that have a valid SS# and can get any job they want, they can get educated anywhere they get accepted, but decide not because they chose not to.

I have a new TP, he is a futures broker (new type of return for me), I prepared form 6781, however he has self-employed expenses that I cannot figure out to lower his self-employment tax. I have inputed the expenses on Sch C, however SE tax is not changing, I am tired, going blind from looking at the computer all day long like everyone, can someone with experience on this type of return help me out. Thanks and try not to get stressed out :-) MAS

Yes, I was thinking that or also the balance of the depreciation as the sales price? Anyone?

TP returned business car due to bankruptcy, how should I dispose of the car, as zero for the amount of sales price? If I do that she has a loss on the disposition, which I don't know if she is entitled to since she still owed for the car. Any advice?

Just wondering if there is mileage allowance for railroad employees for going to/from work? I have a new client that is a railway controller, he travels close to 25 miles to get to work, I know that you cannot claim mileage for your drive to work and back home, but I wanted to know if there is an expection to railroad employees. Thanks MAS

I don't even know where to start, client was adviced by bankruptcy attorney to remove himself as a shareholder from a company he co-owns with his brothers. I met with them last year and they had told me that as of 2009 he won't be getting paid nor recieve any distributions, well now that I see the accounting for company, I see the shareholder that was not suppposed to be paid payroll and paid distributions receive a couple of distributions from Jan to Apr. Here is my question/concern, does the shareholder that was not supposed get anything from the business get a K1? If so, if he was only there up to April, how would I calculate his share for those 4 months? Thanks MAS

I printed out all the extensions that needed to be filed and had my assistant take them to the IRS, they have been stamped and something less I have to worry about. MAS

Just curious on how you are letting you clients know that are not accepting appoinments, will be on vacation or closed next week, etc..... I want to setup my voicemail today to make my clients aware that I am busy and won't drop everything to do their tax return!! Venting..... Thanks

Dear Client, YOUR FIRED!!!!

I agree, however she pays closer to 11% based on how the agent calculates the commission due: She sells $1,000 x .10 = $100, but the agents calculates it $1,000 / .90 = $1,111.11 - 1,000 = 111.11 so he gets $11 more, I have never seen or ever remember seeing interested being calculated in this manner, my client is concerned and wanted to know if this is a proper way of calculating interest? I could not find an answer, so I was wondering if someone here knows, if not it's okay I know there are other important things to worry about. Thanks

I corrected the question, my client pays a commission to someone if she sells a product of their. So she pays the person a 10% commission a month based on sales.

Ok this is not tax related, but today I was caught off guard by client when she asked me to help her calculate interest on SALES COMMISSION, (not personal loan) she has with someone. She makes montly payments of 1k + 10% interest, so I told her monthly payment should be $1,100 (simple interst), but she told me no, that she needs to pay $1,111.11 which is closer to 11%. The way the person, calculates the interest is by dividing $1,000/.90 = $1,111.11. I have taken various finance courses in the past, but don't remember ever calculating interest that way, can someone please explain to me how and why (finacially) it's being calculated this way? Thanks

I just got of the phone with an agent at the IL Department of Revenue and it turns out, the state will not be returning any refunds for FY08 & FY09 until 2011 for business returns. They are going to pay interest, but I know I will have some upset clients. Hopefully, they don't mess with individuals refund's.

Is your home title under your client name? I don't understand how can they put a lien on your house if he is not the owner. Maybe he owns other properties, but check anyway with a title co. To see if in fact there is a lien on your property.

Ah @#@#$!! clicking on your link downloaded a security tool on my pc, those annoying antivirus program that pop out, your computer might be infected buy this program ...... So be careful

One of my client asked me a question that I was not able to answer on the spot, he asked if SS benefits are not taxed when a person hits 70 and after? Well I have done some research I have not found anything on this, can someone just confirm this is false. Thanks

He owed .04 cents as of 12/31/06, and from I understand those .04 cents turned into $206 (penalty and interest), I believe that. He should of paid off those four cents back in 2006. Reminds me of when I made the last payment on my VW, I walked away from the teller reciept in my hand and I notice I had a .01 balance due, I was debating if I should go back or just leave it like that, well I did go back, the teller told me, if I hadn't paid that 1 cent, I would of never recieved my title.

A couple of my clients have called in the past 2 weeks that their refund has not arrived on the day it was supposed to, it's usually the following week. If I file a return on a Wed, I always move the refund date to the next week, just incase it's not accepted until Thursday.