RitaB

I think they will be gone in about seven days if I pace myself. Oh, yes, they are nothing if not consistent.

I don't make appointments, just tell people to drop off whenever. Invariably, there's that one client (ok six clients) who insist on an appointment to drop off. Invariably, they miss that appointment. Yes, go buy a lottery ticket.

Yes.

I have Cadbury Mini Eggs, bet I could get some AR-15 out of him. He's hired.

Yep, like a penny in the parking lot of the grocery store.

Yeah, gonna be like this all day, I see.

I have been slammed with picker-uppers all day. Of course, they have to blow my phone up first asking me if I'm here. Yep, time for coffee. Thank you, Judy. You are fabulous.

I need some staff and a gun.

Sounds like preparer had a God complex. Is this the preparer who who met his Maker and you got the farmer? I can't believe the taxpayer has not been audited. Well, yes, I can. I got some clients from a preparer/preacher who did everything by hand. Put church donations on the back of Schedule C. Even called them "Church Contributions". Go figure. Might as well be bold as a lion. Everybody she had got audited. She was in jail for a while, has gone on to be with the Lord now.

I have two done for days, and I've put off calling them because they both think they're my only client, and they require so much hand-holding. OK, I call one. Voice mail not set up. Really????? I call the other. Lots of hem-hawing. “What do I owe? Oh, well, finally, the farm loss helped me. Oh, and the financial advisor’s fee of $20,000 helped me, and how late will you be there today? And will you be there tomorrow? OK, well, I may come tomorrow rather than today because I’m still cutting tree limbs. It will be interesting to see what tax bracket I’m in going forward...” This is the guy donating underwear. And taking pictures of same. Let’s not downplay the significance of the tax savings THERE...

Thanks, I stole that, but I'm not as sophisticated as you, so I'm adding: P. S. This means stop checking in. Bitch.

Oh, heck yeah, I do!

Honey, you would if you had this guy. I was sooooo happy when he moved to TX. Then, BAM, I get a package in the mail from TX. He's like a bad penny. Not even kiddin. I can see a Dear John letter in his future. I see it pretty clearly, actually.

I seriously, this morning, had an IDIOT call me on a bad connection, from TX, wanting to know if he could pay his wife to manage rental so he could increase income for EIC purposes. I was soooo furious. I told him, "You people need to get jobs and stop basing financial decisions on how to maximize EIC, and did you get your return that I mailed to you a month ago? And would you sign 8879 and pay me and not talk to me again?"

I swear, next person wanting to plan for 2015 before April 15 is getting this look:

Just kidding. I try not to ever work on Sunday. But this is how I feel right now.

Don't research, that's my job, I just thought somebody may have dealt with this before. I will figure it out, and she has not shown me any paperwork from state, I have asked for it, so I guess I will put this in her lap for a while. No worries.

My goal yesterday was eight. Did two. Go me.

Soooooo, what do y'all say? Sale of principal residence 2014? Whole ball of wax? All $175,000? The deal was made 2014, and state is holding some money till 2015, but it's just like with an installment sale - she can elect to report the whole deal 2014? And the basis of the new principal residence is going to be her costs to move house and prep the site? And if the state issues a 1099-S in 2015, I'll just enter that puppy, and back it right back out with an explanation? Is that what you all said?

Apparently, I'm good at espionage. This anal client I'm working on now gives me COPIES of investment statements with account numbers blacked out. You never know what your accountant might do with those account numbers. Or two copies of a W-2.

OK, if there's another update, I'm all over it, Buddy.

Y'all ain't listenin to me and Joan and Margaret. The top of the ATX doohickey is up there in the Twilight Zone off the screen and we gotta fish around for it. Not to get all technical or anything. OMG will this day ever end? I was gonna get eight returns done. Only seven to go!

You know that stack? The one where the client forgot something(s)? That stack is as high as my arm is long now, and these people really deserve to pay more. OK, carry on.

We got the same guy here. Tells everybody he knows all the loop holes, and they believe it. Takes forever to get a return done and people think he's slaving away over their very complicated return. I get somebody from him every year when they figure out they're not loop holes, they are tax laws, and there is no reason to pay twice as much and wait twice as long on your tax return. Walk in his office and your eyes have to adjust for the wood paneling and/or cigarette smoke. Hard to tell them apart.